Promises

I woke up today feeling pretty shitty without rhyme or reason, it just seems to be one of those days.
I don't really know who to talk to when I feel stressed about training and life in general, it can be hard to explain why I spend so many hours training. Sometimes I even wonder why myself.

So here it is.

I knew in the first few moments, that was all it took. A silent promise made to myself that I wouldn't stop until I had mastered everything. The promise was solidified with each minute that passed during my first class in grappling. Every sweep, choke and joint lock was a thing on wonder and mystery, it was knowledge I wanted to own.

Those few seconds sparked a chain reaction that took my life off the path it was going and down a more challenging and complicated yet interesting route. Four years later I have a better understanding of the nature of that promise. To master everything in BJJ means never stopping.

It is a sport that is constantly evolving, to throw some metaphors around it is like a busy city that never sleeps. You can't let yourself get too comfortable, as even when you think you know the city like the back of your hand things can change. Just as the very essence of the city can be affected by the people in it, jujitsu too is changed and moulded by the athletes that push the boundaries and make it their own.

Maybe I make things more complex than they need to be, I could probably be happy enough working up through the ranks of a 9-5 and going out getting drunk and doing what ever everyone else is doing but I would always be living with a broken promise. There is something in my nature that seems to rebel against normality and being settled, it used to bother me but I guess its better to embrace that and work even harder on days where I feel like this. Like I said in my last post things are never dull and in many ways I'm thankful for that.

There will be days like today where I feel a bit lost but there will be many more moments where I feel like I have pushed myself and become a stronger and better person because of it.

Melancholy aside I spent my day planning, plotting and organising and feel like I will wake up tomorrow a bit more at ease with the world.My cure for most things is to book a holiday and I got my flights for California. I have always dreamt of doing the IBJJF worlds and I cant wait to train at all the amazing gyms over there. As such I have decided to cut to a lower weight class which means an annoyingly strict diet but I have abs now check it out!

Any one with suggestions as to where to go and what to do in California leave a comment or send me a tweet @kimurakoi!

Well as always in the life of Rachael things are never boring. Since my last update I competed in the Euro's and came third in my category, got a new job in events management and also had my first K1 fight, not bad huh?
I'll start with the Europeans. It was my second try at this competition except this year I would be fighting as a purple belt. It was a very different trip to the year before, mainly because I had come by myself without a coach or team mates but I felt it was something I needed to do to improve my game and help to focus on BJJ. I had sort of sidelined jits while I was busy training for my MMA fights, and it felt great getting back into it! I arrived on Tuesday so I would have a day to chill and do some sight seeing before the competition kicked off. Lisbon is a really beautiful city, I will do a separate post on my guide to Lisbon for the Euro's for anyone thinking of going next year.

I was pretty happy with my performance, although my mental game is still a really big issue in jits, I just don't seem to switch on as well as I do in MMA. I did feet strong and technical but I need to work more on passing guard for sure! I think the important thing I learnt is that 7 minutes is a long time so its ok to be patient and wait for the best opportunity to pull guard or go for the take down.

Just before I flew out to Europe I had an interview for a job at a communications company, and the night before I was set to fly off they told me they wanted to give me the job! I told them I could start Thursday, so I had time to recover from all the partying that had gone on in Lisbon. I think I had forgotten how time consuming a new job can be as it left me with little time to train as I wanted to make a good impression. We had a really big event in London the night before my fight which left me feeling pretty uneasy about how it was going to go.

Pretty much everyone from the gym was fighting so I felt relaxed as we all got to have some food together and then had our own separate area to warm up. I didn't really feel as nervous as I do before Jits or MMA, it was an odd quiet before the storm type of feeling. The fight its self was probably not the most technical that I have ever been in but I stuck to my game plan and followed Paul and Tolly's coaching to get the win.


Even though it was one of my least impressive performances I was still glad I went through with it, as I learnt a lot and it motivated me to work more on my stand up! I might try and get a few more stand up fights on smaller shows while I am waiting to find out when my next MMA fight will be. I think the next Jits comp I compete in will be the British open in May.